Reader Question:
I came across this person 2-3 weeks ago so we straight away hit it well. He is 20 and I am 18.
We assented we would remain as buddies with advantages because I am going to be leaving in two several months for some time. For whatever reason, the guy helps to keep revisiting the concept of merely becoming pals, saying he wants me nevertheless helps make him put a wall up.
We informed him it could be fine whenever we just ended talking so howevern’t get any further feelings because the guy doesn’t want to date, but he helps to keep claiming he doesn’t want to stop chatting.
How come the guy send me personally combined signals? How do I determine what he really wants?
-Brianna (Wisconsin)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Brianna,
As soon as you explain your connection as buddies with benefits, I assume you imply sexual advantages. Also because you are the one making city, I have a feeling you’re one who structured the connection this way.
He, alternatively, didn’t have the majority of a variety. You will end up leaving, regardless of if the guy desired much more. Actually, We suspect your own admission out of the connection was the thing that attracted you both.
It really is a method to test an union realizing that just one of you might have an exit door during the two-month mark.
With modern interactions getting so sensitive yet therefore pressured getting sex, folks typically check out drop their unique toe in as a way to avoid a painful separation.
However the main point here is gender produces feelings. He’s giving you mixed indicators because the guy wants you! He or she is actually telling you the “friends with advantages” charade is the wall structure he’s setting up.
My advice: Don’t mess with he’s center if you don’t want a proper union. When you do, carry it up and end up being specific about your requirements.
The elephant from inside the home seems too large for either people to ignore.
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